i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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