We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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