Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
