she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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