i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
