My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
