I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
