I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im holly from the hills drunk
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
