You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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