I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
