lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
