I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
thus making me awesome and them whores
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize