the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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