But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
