You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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