um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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