he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
