don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
