She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize