Whod you bang
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
