we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
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it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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