I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
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The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
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I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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