I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Drunk is not a location!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
