Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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