Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
