You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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