She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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