i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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