i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
