its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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