32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
