There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
