I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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