Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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