Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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