I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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