Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
