he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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