he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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