Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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