He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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