Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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