Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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