After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I need a beard to bite.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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