Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
