i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
