Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize