That's intense
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
