he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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