he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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