I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
