When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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