Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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