I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dick has a subreddit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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