are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
