Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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