would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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