Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
